The Peelemma

I'm working on an essay with my own neologism, the peelemma. sorry it's my word. my word. i thought of it. (unless someone i don't know has thought of it before. drats if so)

the idea is that it is a dilemma about peeing. either you have to pee but you're in a situation where you're not sure you should, say it's near the climax of the film and a trip to the bathroom might cause you to miss something important. but you really really gotta go.

Or you have to pee, and you can't.

I thought of this new word because i've been a victim of quite a number. i actually have further subdivisions and classifications of the peelemma, which will appear in the essay.

I think of writing about it because I was in a rather uncomfortable peelemma. as part of my entry to the DECL faculty i've got to go through physical tests. one of them is a drug test. I took my drug test early morning saturday,

While there I was given a sizable bottle which they said had to be filled to the bri. this meant some rather challenging dynamics in filling it up and timing it just right. I was not aiming for surface tension to be achieved mind you.

As I went into the bathroom to do my business the lady told me, "Ser kailangan medyo bukas po ang pinto." This introduces the problem of performance anxiety, the performance peelemma. I was having a hard time just because a woman was standing behind me and waiting for me to get done. I suddenl started worrying if I could manage to fill it up.

To further complicate the performance peelemma, as she was standing there she was approached by a gay officemate. Now I always have to have a disclaimer whenever I mention someone gay, so here goes; I've got lots of gay friends and I don't think of them any differently. However, there is that problem of a good number of gay men being rather, shall we say, loud. A little too loud. I don't know what it is, but they have this thing with volume. anyways, as i was trying to fill up the plastic cup, the gay man and the woman proceed to have a very loud conversation behind me. I'm big on psychic space and here was a definite violation.

For the first time in a long time I had to give my penis encouragement, "Come on, you can do it. Don't fail me now." We powered through together, but the whole process if giving all kinds of things for testing has been harrying. Let's not even talk about the shit sample, which I have renamed the unhappy sample.