My birthday has come and gone. Feeling older, got stuck in thoughts about nearing 30 and wondering if I'm doing what I should be. The quarter life crisis has happened to me too many times I don't even want to think about it.
With observations done and the sem winding down there's time for writing. I'm also looking forward to some serious DVD viewing. I've been making an effort to buy those discounted original DVDs as of late. But then after going shopping this weekend I was made well aware of the severe limitations in title selection offered by chains like Astrovision and Odyssey. I was able to pick up a number of titles. I had no plans of buying any of them, I mean to say I never went around looking for them at stores and the like, but once the chance to buy them came up, I could not resist and got whatever could fit my meager budget. Here's to not eating out because I overspent on DVDs. Toast! and the flicks:
1. Nosferatu
2. Infernal Affairs
3. The Omega Man
4. Touch of Evil
5. Soylent Green
6. Some Like It Hot
7. Tarkovsky's Solaris
8. Yojimbo
9. Cape Fear (Original)
10. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask
11. Zelig
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
What Is Music? A playlist and a disaster
The past two weeks have been rather difficult. Leading up to my birthday, they have had me questioning what I'm doing, where I am at this point. It didn't help that I've had doubts about teaching thanks to the observations that have been conducted these last two weeks.
In the hopes of amending some mistakes in a past meeting and starting a provocative discussion, I decided to make a playlist based on the essay I am discussing, an excerpt of the chapter "What is Music" from Levitin's This is Your Brain on Music.
I spent the night picking through my iPod for the ideal tracks to include based on the paragraphs I would discuss, checking different resources to make sure I was picking songs from appropriate periods, etc, and then downloading something from West Side Story because it's on the list.
The following morning I packed up my big old speakers and lugged them to UP so that I would have a good sound system that would help the students hear and appreciate the music, in all its variety and richness.
I went to the room early to set up the speakers and make sure everything went well. I couldn't find an electrical socket. Then, in one corner, there was this plastic thing that resembled an outlet. I plugged in, and nothing. Nothing.
I spent the first quarter of the class time running around trying to find an extension cord so I could hook up to another classroom. The one time I try to utilize some AV materials, my own, and there was nothing. Playlist, speakers, all of it a waste. And there was I, sweating and distraught, the lesson as I envisioned dissipating as this panicked situation set in. I didn't know how to start, how to fix it. The connections between discussions was so clear in my head that not I had no way to transition. And worst of all were the senior teachers sitting there waiting for me to start. I was still trying to catch my breath.
needless to say, things did not go well.
in any case, I think that this playlist is very interesting, especially since it is asked within the context of what is music? how do we define music? I'll list the songs here:
First Levitin says that for some, "music" is the masters:
Track 1: Beethoven's Symphony Number 5
Track 2: Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" Allegro
For others it's Busta Rhymes, Dr. Dre, or Moby:
Track 3: Busta Rhymes' "Where's My Money?"
Track 4: Busta Rhymes "What's it Gonna Be!?"
Track 5: NWA "Fuck the Police"
Track 6: Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg "The Next Episode
Track 7: Moby "Go"
For others it's jazz
Track 8: Miles Davis"Seven Steps to Heaven"
In the 60s parents were afraid of the evil influence rock beats from the likes of the Monkees would have on children
Track 9: The Monkees "I'm a Believer"
Track 10: The Rolling Stones "Satisfaction"
Track 11: The Beach Boys "Good Vibrations"
Bob Dylan was booed for going electric
Track 12: The Times They Are A-changing
Track 13: Like a Rolling Stone
For a time the Catholic Church banned polyphony
Track 14: Handel "And the Glory" from Messiah
Track 15: Happy Mondays "24 Hour Party People"
The Church also banned tritones because they were found to evoke the devil and were called Diabolus in musica
Track 16: West Side Story "Maria"
Track 17: Mishka Adams "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"
Track 18: The Simpsons Theme
If you take the time to listen, this is an immensely provocative list that asks us to question many of our beliefs about the parameters of music and the many ways that music has been judged in the past.
At least there's that list, and maybe I can pull off that lecture some other time, in some classroom where I can get it played.
In the hopes of amending some mistakes in a past meeting and starting a provocative discussion, I decided to make a playlist based on the essay I am discussing, an excerpt of the chapter "What is Music" from Levitin's This is Your Brain on Music.
I spent the night picking through my iPod for the ideal tracks to include based on the paragraphs I would discuss, checking different resources to make sure I was picking songs from appropriate periods, etc, and then downloading something from West Side Story because it's on the list.
The following morning I packed up my big old speakers and lugged them to UP so that I would have a good sound system that would help the students hear and appreciate the music, in all its variety and richness.
I went to the room early to set up the speakers and make sure everything went well. I couldn't find an electrical socket. Then, in one corner, there was this plastic thing that resembled an outlet. I plugged in, and nothing. Nothing.
I spent the first quarter of the class time running around trying to find an extension cord so I could hook up to another classroom. The one time I try to utilize some AV materials, my own, and there was nothing. Playlist, speakers, all of it a waste. And there was I, sweating and distraught, the lesson as I envisioned dissipating as this panicked situation set in. I didn't know how to start, how to fix it. The connections between discussions was so clear in my head that not I had no way to transition. And worst of all were the senior teachers sitting there waiting for me to start. I was still trying to catch my breath.
needless to say, things did not go well.
in any case, I think that this playlist is very interesting, especially since it is asked within the context of what is music? how do we define music? I'll list the songs here:
First Levitin says that for some, "music" is the masters:
Track 1: Beethoven's Symphony Number 5
Track 2: Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" Allegro
For others it's Busta Rhymes, Dr. Dre, or Moby:
Track 3: Busta Rhymes' "Where's My Money?"
Track 4: Busta Rhymes "What's it Gonna Be!?"
Track 5: NWA "Fuck the Police"
Track 6: Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg "The Next Episode
Track 7: Moby "Go"
For others it's jazz
Track 8: Miles Davis"Seven Steps to Heaven"
In the 60s parents were afraid of the evil influence rock beats from the likes of the Monkees would have on children
Track 9: The Monkees "I'm a Believer"
Track 10: The Rolling Stones "Satisfaction"
Track 11: The Beach Boys "Good Vibrations"
Bob Dylan was booed for going electric
Track 12: The Times They Are A-changing
Track 13: Like a Rolling Stone
For a time the Catholic Church banned polyphony
Track 14: Handel "And the Glory" from Messiah
Track 15: Happy Mondays "24 Hour Party People"
The Church also banned tritones because they were found to evoke the devil and were called Diabolus in musica
Track 16: West Side Story "Maria"
Track 17: Mishka Adams "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"
Track 18: The Simpsons Theme
If you take the time to listen, this is an immensely provocative list that asks us to question many of our beliefs about the parameters of music and the many ways that music has been judged in the past.
At least there's that list, and maybe I can pull off that lecture some other time, in some classroom where I can get it played.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Lyrics and Noise
I've long been an advocate of the literariness of a song, that the lyrics and music should match but also that the lyrics should be very well written. While this is a topic of possibly endless debate, where I do find myself arguing with various of my own points, I do champion the importance of good lyricism, of good songwriting. So it's always interesting to find a jumble of words that, when written on the page, don't really make much sense, but fit perfectly with the music that they go with.
Case in point here is The Verve's carrier single from their new album, Forth, entitled "Love is Noise." While Richard Ashcroft has been hailed as one of the great songwriters (by Chris Martin, not sure by how many other people) he has a tendency to try to be metaphysical without really having a point. This isn't to say that I don't like the man's songs, far from it. The Verve are probably one of my favorite bands, if not my favorite from 90s britpop. Ashcroft has the gift for pretty lines, and also for finding a good line and repeating it in variations that give meaning when coupled with The Verve's music, particularly that airy guitar sound and the general feeling that you're someplace else when you're listening to them. And thus we have these lines from "Love is Noise" :
Will those feet in modern times
Walk on soles made in China?
Will those feet in modern times
See the bright prosaic malls?
Will those feet in modern times
Recognise the heavy burden
Will those feet in modern times
Pardon me for my sins
Love is noise
Come on
One might think that the song might be going somewhere. The rest of the lyrics are some variation on those in the lines listed above. And so, in trying to make sense of them, in any kind of literary way, one is left saying, "Huh?" And still, when you hear that chorus, "Love is noise/Love is Pain/ Love is these blues I'm singing again/" with that irresistible vocal hook and propulsive guitars, you can't help but be drawn by it, the head bopping to the dance/trance beat.
I've been trying to look for other examples. I think a good one is U2's "Bad". It sounds beautiful, the lush, warm melody that develops and really makes you swoon. Giving that song its rise is Bono's powerful delivery of some lines like:
If I could throw this
Lifeless lifeline to the wind
Leave this heart of clay
See you walk, walk away
Into the night
And through the rain
Into the half-light
And through the flame
When Bono sings them one line at a time, these lines seem so powerful, so rich in meaning. And yet when we look at it on the page it doesn't really aspire to a level anywhere near poetry. And still it fits perfectly within the context of the song.
This then begs the question, how can I accept and love these songs, and yet despise "Umbrella" or anything by Soulja Boy and mock the undying absurdity of Akon? Is it the purpose? Is it in the expression? When I hear the song that goes "It's too late to apologize" it seems that it's just such a bare and unbearable outpour of emotion, unmitigated by any artistic sense, much like "I-e-I-I will always love you-hu-hu-hu". And still these songs do, in some way, adhere to the principles of music composition. So how then do we define, do we judge? On what are we to base our aesthetics?
Lyricism seems still crucial in terms of whether I like a song or not. I suppose that this calls for a constant repositioning in the demand that we make of a song. But how is it acceptable for me to like "Love is Noise" when, for much the same reasons people will cite other songs and say, "E gusto ko yung beat" even if they don't know what the songs mean? I could appeal to The Verve's shamanistic tendencies where they invoke a kind of trance with their music and have these weird lines floating above it all. Then that brings along more problems and questions of the demand which we make of music. That would then say, so as long as you're making this kind of music you have a right to write drivel?
How do we define drivel and nonsense verse from plain nonsense? What makes "Come Together" or "I am the Walrus," both of those songs playing on sound-driven (and I'm inclined to believe acid-driven) verse, different or superior to contemporary pop music, much of the lyrics of which are nonsensical? I'm still trying to find an answer to this.
Case in point here is The Verve's carrier single from their new album, Forth, entitled "Love is Noise." While Richard Ashcroft has been hailed as one of the great songwriters (by Chris Martin, not sure by how many other people) he has a tendency to try to be metaphysical without really having a point. This isn't to say that I don't like the man's songs, far from it. The Verve are probably one of my favorite bands, if not my favorite from 90s britpop. Ashcroft has the gift for pretty lines, and also for finding a good line and repeating it in variations that give meaning when coupled with The Verve's music, particularly that airy guitar sound and the general feeling that you're someplace else when you're listening to them. And thus we have these lines from "Love is Noise" :
Will those feet in modern times
Walk on soles made in China?
Will those feet in modern times
See the bright prosaic malls?
Will those feet in modern times
Recognise the heavy burden
Will those feet in modern times
Pardon me for my sins
Love is noise
Come on
One might think that the song might be going somewhere. The rest of the lyrics are some variation on those in the lines listed above. And so, in trying to make sense of them, in any kind of literary way, one is left saying, "Huh?" And still, when you hear that chorus, "Love is noise/Love is Pain/ Love is these blues I'm singing again/" with that irresistible vocal hook and propulsive guitars, you can't help but be drawn by it, the head bopping to the dance/trance beat.
I've been trying to look for other examples. I think a good one is U2's "Bad". It sounds beautiful, the lush, warm melody that develops and really makes you swoon. Giving that song its rise is Bono's powerful delivery of some lines like:
If I could throw this
Lifeless lifeline to the wind
Leave this heart of clay
See you walk, walk away
Into the night
And through the rain
Into the half-light
And through the flame
When Bono sings them one line at a time, these lines seem so powerful, so rich in meaning. And yet when we look at it on the page it doesn't really aspire to a level anywhere near poetry. And still it fits perfectly within the context of the song.
This then begs the question, how can I accept and love these songs, and yet despise "Umbrella" or anything by Soulja Boy and mock the undying absurdity of Akon? Is it the purpose? Is it in the expression? When I hear the song that goes "It's too late to apologize" it seems that it's just such a bare and unbearable outpour of emotion, unmitigated by any artistic sense, much like "I-e-I-I will always love you-hu-hu-hu". And still these songs do, in some way, adhere to the principles of music composition. So how then do we define, do we judge? On what are we to base our aesthetics?
Lyricism seems still crucial in terms of whether I like a song or not. I suppose that this calls for a constant repositioning in the demand that we make of a song. But how is it acceptable for me to like "Love is Noise" when, for much the same reasons people will cite other songs and say, "E gusto ko yung beat" even if they don't know what the songs mean? I could appeal to The Verve's shamanistic tendencies where they invoke a kind of trance with their music and have these weird lines floating above it all. Then that brings along more problems and questions of the demand which we make of music. That would then say, so as long as you're making this kind of music you have a right to write drivel?
How do we define drivel and nonsense verse from plain nonsense? What makes "Come Together" or "I am the Walrus," both of those songs playing on sound-driven (and I'm inclined to believe acid-driven) verse, different or superior to contemporary pop music, much of the lyrics of which are nonsensical? I'm still trying to find an answer to this.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Day 73
Here's a new short short I just wrote up, open for comments:
Day 73
They had run out of fresh food long ago. By their count is was Day 73 of the crisis; they could not remember the last day they had eaten anything crisp. At least they could warm their canned food with the LPG gas tanks they dragged from nearby homes when they made runs out during the daytime. As the days passed they started to feel some confidence in these excursions. For a time they had such confidence that they were generally safe within their quarantine area that they became lax with their security. That was the day Justin died.
They hadn't seen a zombie for almost a week and on that day Justin decided that he wanted to have a smoke out in the sunshine. He sat on a swing in the subdivision's clubhouse and lit up a cigarette. Some of the younger boys started a pick-up basketball game. For the first time in a long time their adrenaline was driven by the joy of exertion and the thrill of a game and not the fear that had hounded them like an unending nightmare. Caught up in the game, the sad circumstances of their situation were lost amidst the, “Ooohs!” after a blocked shot, the swish of the net, the tumble and dribble and the slaps of wrist on ball, the rustle of sneakers on asphalt.
Then there was a scream. Somehow a zombie had managed to get through their defenses. A moat and then a 10-foot tall fence guarded most of the subdivision's perimeter, and they had electrified the gates. They found later that the zombie corpses had piled up on one of the gates so that they served as a flesh ladder for a number of intruders. Among these intruders was the zombie, dressed in tattered polo-barong, who someone recognized as someone's driver, who had just bitten into Justin's neck, his jugular spurting blood all over the swing.
A single shot ran out from one of the rooftop perches, the bullet only curving slightly in trajectory so that instead of going right between the eyes where the shooter had aimed, it went through the intruder's right eye entering just below the socket and exiting at the base of the skull before coming to a halt in the asphalt. The boys playing basketball quickly remembered the outbreak, the deaths of their parents, their isolation in the subdivision, the garbled message that said to maintain a quarantine and that help would come soon, and the need to stop the disease's spread no matter what the cost.
Two of the boys held Justin down. He was writhing and gasping, one hand covering the bite as blood poured out, the other waving frantically imploring help. They stepped on his shoulders and stuck him to the asphalt. Another boy came with a shovel and held it above Justin's head, the blade poised at his neck. Justin waved his free hand, tried to slap the shovel away but one of the boys holding him down grabbed the hand and pulled it out of the way so that the shovel came down on his neck, severing the head clean from the body as well as cutting off the tips of his fingers that were pressed against his jugular.
Since that day there had been no sitting on the swing, no smokes in the sunshine, no pick-up basketball games. There had only been efficient runs to get supplies like food, batteries, and medicine from nearby houses, systematic shifts that ensured someone was keeping guard and patrolling at all times, and a constant hope that someday, soon, the radio would flicker on again and tell them how many more days they would have to wait.
Day 73
They had run out of fresh food long ago. By their count is was Day 73 of the crisis; they could not remember the last day they had eaten anything crisp. At least they could warm their canned food with the LPG gas tanks they dragged from nearby homes when they made runs out during the daytime. As the days passed they started to feel some confidence in these excursions. For a time they had such confidence that they were generally safe within their quarantine area that they became lax with their security. That was the day Justin died.
They hadn't seen a zombie for almost a week and on that day Justin decided that he wanted to have a smoke out in the sunshine. He sat on a swing in the subdivision's clubhouse and lit up a cigarette. Some of the younger boys started a pick-up basketball game. For the first time in a long time their adrenaline was driven by the joy of exertion and the thrill of a game and not the fear that had hounded them like an unending nightmare. Caught up in the game, the sad circumstances of their situation were lost amidst the, “Ooohs!” after a blocked shot, the swish of the net, the tumble and dribble and the slaps of wrist on ball, the rustle of sneakers on asphalt.
Then there was a scream. Somehow a zombie had managed to get through their defenses. A moat and then a 10-foot tall fence guarded most of the subdivision's perimeter, and they had electrified the gates. They found later that the zombie corpses had piled up on one of the gates so that they served as a flesh ladder for a number of intruders. Among these intruders was the zombie, dressed in tattered polo-barong, who someone recognized as someone's driver, who had just bitten into Justin's neck, his jugular spurting blood all over the swing.
A single shot ran out from one of the rooftop perches, the bullet only curving slightly in trajectory so that instead of going right between the eyes where the shooter had aimed, it went through the intruder's right eye entering just below the socket and exiting at the base of the skull before coming to a halt in the asphalt. The boys playing basketball quickly remembered the outbreak, the deaths of their parents, their isolation in the subdivision, the garbled message that said to maintain a quarantine and that help would come soon, and the need to stop the disease's spread no matter what the cost.
Two of the boys held Justin down. He was writhing and gasping, one hand covering the bite as blood poured out, the other waving frantically imploring help. They stepped on his shoulders and stuck him to the asphalt. Another boy came with a shovel and held it above Justin's head, the blade poised at his neck. Justin waved his free hand, tried to slap the shovel away but one of the boys holding him down grabbed the hand and pulled it out of the way so that the shovel came down on his neck, severing the head clean from the body as well as cutting off the tips of his fingers that were pressed against his jugular.
Since that day there had been no sitting on the swing, no smokes in the sunshine, no pick-up basketball games. There had only been efficient runs to get supplies like food, batteries, and medicine from nearby houses, systematic shifts that ensured someone was keeping guard and patrolling at all times, and a constant hope that someday, soon, the radio would flicker on again and tell them how many more days they would have to wait.
Friday, August 15, 2008
My Kalabaw and Me
Sometime this I week I was supposed to be interviewed by some students from another university. I could not help myself with what happened, and so I think it's worth writing about.
Normally one would be flattered. I've been interviewed maybe once or twice before about my writing. It is something, if only one of those small acknowledgements that you are being read or you're making some dent in this large, momentous institution of literature. I'm always a little surprised that, with all the people that they can interview, literature students would pick up my stuff and like it enough to talk to me. And let's admit it, it feels nice, that little bit of positive reinforcement. On my end, I just like it that someone read my work. Their wanting to talk to me, then, is a great big bonus.
Which is why the interview turned out a great big bummer.
One student contacted me on a Saturday, asking if I could be interviewed for a project that they were doing for a literature class. I said, yeah great, and asked the kind of questions they would be asking. We set the interview for Wednesday, and they said they would be asking me about my writing and my bio. Ok fine.
The group shows up. There are six or seven of them. I open the door and they tumble into my office at the faculty center. We have a bit of trouble setting up the shot because of their number and the size of my room. Once I'm sitting I say, hey shouldn't you ask me some preliminary questions or anything before we start shooting? Being used to interviewing people, I value the interviewer establishing some rapport, if even just a little bit, before the actual interview starts. To answer me, they all look at each other, then start nodding their heads.
I ask, what about my writing am I gonna talk about? They look at each other. Then I ask, what have you read? They say that they haven't read anything that I've written. Then I ask, have you read anything about me? Negative to that too. So I say, You haven't read anything I've written, and you haven't bothered to research about me? That's right? You have absolutely no idea who I am or what i do? To this they nod in the affirmative.
I could have been more pissed and thrown them out. It's just plain damn sloppy to interview someone and not do any research. I asked, Why are you interviewing me then? The beautiful, glorious answer, the answer to all the academic work and the initiative behind it these days, "SIR REQUIRED E."
I take the time to set a meeting and talk with these kids, they can't take the time to friggin' google my name (see previous post, My Secret Vanity).
They ask me about my life, tell them my biography. To this the chance for fun overwhelms me.
"Lumaki ako sa bukid. Hindi ako nakapagaral nung bata ako dahil pinagtatrabaho ako sa farm. Lagi akong nasa fields kasama ko si Manny, yung kalabaw ko. Best friend ko si Manny. Tapos namatay siya hindi ko alam kung bakit. Nung namatay si Manny, that's when I realized that I wanted to be a writer."
Then some senseless questions :
Sir, have you won any awards or gotten any kind of acclaim?
Yes.
Would you like to talk about them?
No.
Could you tell us the titles of your works?
Yes I could.
What are they?
Well, you could google them can't you?
Did you ever think you would be famous because of your writing?
(Now what kind of question is that?) No
Can you say something inspiring for those who would want to be writers?
No. No one would be inspired by anything I have to say. (Who am I Kris Aquino?)
What would you like to tell people then?
READ. It's important for people to read. Really.
And thus went the interview. I kept apologizing because I felt I was being too crabby or difficult, but it could not be helped really. I only wonder if the story of my kalabaw will live on as a piece of academic work.
Normally one would be flattered. I've been interviewed maybe once or twice before about my writing. It is something, if only one of those small acknowledgements that you are being read or you're making some dent in this large, momentous institution of literature. I'm always a little surprised that, with all the people that they can interview, literature students would pick up my stuff and like it enough to talk to me. And let's admit it, it feels nice, that little bit of positive reinforcement. On my end, I just like it that someone read my work. Their wanting to talk to me, then, is a great big bonus.
Which is why the interview turned out a great big bummer.
One student contacted me on a Saturday, asking if I could be interviewed for a project that they were doing for a literature class. I said, yeah great, and asked the kind of questions they would be asking. We set the interview for Wednesday, and they said they would be asking me about my writing and my bio. Ok fine.
The group shows up. There are six or seven of them. I open the door and they tumble into my office at the faculty center. We have a bit of trouble setting up the shot because of their number and the size of my room. Once I'm sitting I say, hey shouldn't you ask me some preliminary questions or anything before we start shooting? Being used to interviewing people, I value the interviewer establishing some rapport, if even just a little bit, before the actual interview starts. To answer me, they all look at each other, then start nodding their heads.
I ask, what about my writing am I gonna talk about? They look at each other. Then I ask, what have you read? They say that they haven't read anything that I've written. Then I ask, have you read anything about me? Negative to that too. So I say, You haven't read anything I've written, and you haven't bothered to research about me? That's right? You have absolutely no idea who I am or what i do? To this they nod in the affirmative.
I could have been more pissed and thrown them out. It's just plain damn sloppy to interview someone and not do any research. I asked, Why are you interviewing me then? The beautiful, glorious answer, the answer to all the academic work and the initiative behind it these days, "SIR REQUIRED E."
I take the time to set a meeting and talk with these kids, they can't take the time to friggin' google my name (see previous post, My Secret Vanity).
They ask me about my life, tell them my biography. To this the chance for fun overwhelms me.
"Lumaki ako sa bukid. Hindi ako nakapagaral nung bata ako dahil pinagtatrabaho ako sa farm. Lagi akong nasa fields kasama ko si Manny, yung kalabaw ko. Best friend ko si Manny. Tapos namatay siya hindi ko alam kung bakit. Nung namatay si Manny, that's when I realized that I wanted to be a writer."
Then some senseless questions :
Sir, have you won any awards or gotten any kind of acclaim?
Yes.
Would you like to talk about them?
No.
Could you tell us the titles of your works?
Yes I could.
What are they?
Well, you could google them can't you?
Did you ever think you would be famous because of your writing?
(Now what kind of question is that?) No
Can you say something inspiring for those who would want to be writers?
No. No one would be inspired by anything I have to say. (Who am I Kris Aquino?)
What would you like to tell people then?
READ. It's important for people to read. Really.
And thus went the interview. I kept apologizing because I felt I was being too crabby or difficult, but it could not be helped really. I only wonder if the story of my kalabaw will live on as a piece of academic work.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
The Truth about Rain and DSL
"Nababasa ang poste," the repair guy said. He explained to me in a tone that was meant to make me feel like an idiot. After having complained about the performance of my DSL I was visited by repair guy on a Saturday morning and told, "Baka naman mali lang settings mo kaya nagkakaproblema."
How do you respond to this kind of behavior? Not sure if it's the normal thing for the repairmen to assume that their customers are idiots. I turned on my computer and assured the guy that my settings were just fine. He sat at the Mac and connected to the net. "Ok naman a, nakakaconnect naman."
"Yeah, ngayon kasi umaga, maaraw. Ang problema ko, 7-11 weekdays, at pag umuulan laging napuputol."
"Ah ganun talaga."
"Ganun talaga?" What do you mean by that?"
"E kasi pag ganung oras, wala nang nagbabantay sa opisina kaya napuputol." Which makes one think, so how come no one's making sure the net's working? You mean to tell me when it's closing time for offices no one's monitoring my internet service? This may explain why no one's answering the customer service line. So either this guy is telling me shit, or there's really no one monitoring the quality of net service after office hours. I'm not sure which is preferable. I would like to think that my provider cares enough about its customers to assure service, even if repair guy lacks any customer relations skills.
"E yung ulan?"
"Nababasa ang poste."
"So?"
"Pag nababasa ang poste, mawawala internet mo." The logic, to him, seemed flawless. Wet posts equals no internet, why are you still asking questions? But I couldn't resist.
"E yung phone, lights, poste din naman yun. Bakit yun hindi nawawala pag umuulan."
"Ibang poste yun e."
Now I don't know, but that really made me feel dumb. What an idiot I am, it's a different post. Of course!
"So pag umulan, expect ko dapat na mapuputol ang internet ko?'
"Oo."
And that, dear friends, straight from the horses' mouth, is the truth about my internet rants. What can you say?
How do you respond to this kind of behavior? Not sure if it's the normal thing for the repairmen to assume that their customers are idiots. I turned on my computer and assured the guy that my settings were just fine. He sat at the Mac and connected to the net. "Ok naman a, nakakaconnect naman."
"Yeah, ngayon kasi umaga, maaraw. Ang problema ko, 7-11 weekdays, at pag umuulan laging napuputol."
"Ah ganun talaga."
"Ganun talaga?" What do you mean by that?"
"E kasi pag ganung oras, wala nang nagbabantay sa opisina kaya napuputol." Which makes one think, so how come no one's making sure the net's working? You mean to tell me when it's closing time for offices no one's monitoring my internet service? This may explain why no one's answering the customer service line. So either this guy is telling me shit, or there's really no one monitoring the quality of net service after office hours. I'm not sure which is preferable. I would like to think that my provider cares enough about its customers to assure service, even if repair guy lacks any customer relations skills.
"E yung ulan?"
"Nababasa ang poste."
"So?"
"Pag nababasa ang poste, mawawala internet mo." The logic, to him, seemed flawless. Wet posts equals no internet, why are you still asking questions? But I couldn't resist.
"E yung phone, lights, poste din naman yun. Bakit yun hindi nawawala pag umuulan."
"Ibang poste yun e."
Now I don't know, but that really made me feel dumb. What an idiot I am, it's a different post. Of course!
"So pag umulan, expect ko dapat na mapuputol ang internet ko?'
"Oo."
And that, dear friends, straight from the horses' mouth, is the truth about my internet rants. What can you say?
Monday, August 4, 2008
English Proficiency Questions
Having been checking papers the last couple of days, I've been wondering about where it is best to effect change in our English teaching curriculum. While we accept that there are evolutions of English, such as Chinglish and Singlish, there is still also the demand for students to be proficient in writing formal English, at least academically. That's where I supposedly come in, teaching students how to write at the college level. However, sadly, that is not really the case. What is happening is that I am trying to correct, or get students to unlearn things that they learned. Not only is there the barrier of students who fear the subject, or who think it's pointless (and this is a pretty formidable barrier) but there is the problem of students walking into college classrooms unprepared for the rigors of university writing because they lack the preparation.
To be clear though, there are a number of students who display impressive skills in writing. But they are far outnumbered by those that need much work, and that work is a minefield of different areas, such as grammar in its simplest aspects like subject verb agreement, to the way that they use, or misuse, the language, to word selection and the list goes on and on.
I am more than willing to accept that not everyone is supposed to be in a creative writing class. but being in a university, I would hope that people would develop a mental framework that would cause them to think that they would be writing as academics, at least for the next four or five years that they will be studying at the university level.
I have to ask myself how students get to the tertiary level without having a proper background in their English and writing skills. I suppose that math teachers are asking themselves similar questions. But being someone who has taught at the lower levels, I feel the need to really question this.
There were many things wrong with the English program that I was teaching at the high school level. I tried to fix those things. Now while that program had its deficiencies, the problem also was that students arrived at the high school level already having problems and having learned the wrong things. (Case in point is that up to the point that they became my students, some of them were taught that even though was written as eventhough, and as if was asif)
So do high school teachers have to correct these things? Should they leave them to the college professors to correct? But for someone like me teaching at the college level i assume and expect that these people are ready for college work. Why should we have to move backwards? So then were does this start?
They are deficient when they get to high school? What are the grade school teachers teaching them? Must there be a massive reassessment of the level at which we are teaching? I believe so. In a society following the American public school system, which was largely based on industry and factory systems, we have not stopped to think about how education should be structured in a knowledge-based economy.
We are training students to pass the UPCAT and ACET and all those others, to get good scores on proficiency exams, but are we training students to be innovative? Are we training them for the information-age jobs that they will soon have to take? Seeing as to how technology is leveling the global playing field, the ability to communicate will be essential. They may have access to the tech, but what happens when they cannot communicate effectively. Add to this the problematic structure of our public high school system that, like most things in this country, is forever lacking funding. Come to think of it, the only things that don't lack funding when it comes to public works are those things that have to do directly with the bigwigs. But classrooms? Teacher training? Budget for paying public school teachers?
I pull back further. Is it a problem of grade school? Or of those formative years when children who are rich are exposed to speaking yaya english, or their parents aren't great english speakers, and thus speak in transliterated forms?
Further, when do these different forms and levels of English , which I would allow to be used in common conversation, be automatically excluded from paper-writing? When will students make the distinction of the level of language expected, without them having to be told?
To be clear though, there are a number of students who display impressive skills in writing. But they are far outnumbered by those that need much work, and that work is a minefield of different areas, such as grammar in its simplest aspects like subject verb agreement, to the way that they use, or misuse, the language, to word selection and the list goes on and on.
I am more than willing to accept that not everyone is supposed to be in a creative writing class. but being in a university, I would hope that people would develop a mental framework that would cause them to think that they would be writing as academics, at least for the next four or five years that they will be studying at the university level.
I have to ask myself how students get to the tertiary level without having a proper background in their English and writing skills. I suppose that math teachers are asking themselves similar questions. But being someone who has taught at the lower levels, I feel the need to really question this.
There were many things wrong with the English program that I was teaching at the high school level. I tried to fix those things. Now while that program had its deficiencies, the problem also was that students arrived at the high school level already having problems and having learned the wrong things. (Case in point is that up to the point that they became my students, some of them were taught that even though was written as eventhough, and as if was asif)
So do high school teachers have to correct these things? Should they leave them to the college professors to correct? But for someone like me teaching at the college level i assume and expect that these people are ready for college work. Why should we have to move backwards? So then were does this start?
They are deficient when they get to high school? What are the grade school teachers teaching them? Must there be a massive reassessment of the level at which we are teaching? I believe so. In a society following the American public school system, which was largely based on industry and factory systems, we have not stopped to think about how education should be structured in a knowledge-based economy.
We are training students to pass the UPCAT and ACET and all those others, to get good scores on proficiency exams, but are we training students to be innovative? Are we training them for the information-age jobs that they will soon have to take? Seeing as to how technology is leveling the global playing field, the ability to communicate will be essential. They may have access to the tech, but what happens when they cannot communicate effectively. Add to this the problematic structure of our public high school system that, like most things in this country, is forever lacking funding. Come to think of it, the only things that don't lack funding when it comes to public works are those things that have to do directly with the bigwigs. But classrooms? Teacher training? Budget for paying public school teachers?
I pull back further. Is it a problem of grade school? Or of those formative years when children who are rich are exposed to speaking yaya english, or their parents aren't great english speakers, and thus speak in transliterated forms?
Further, when do these different forms and levels of English , which I would allow to be used in common conversation, be automatically excluded from paper-writing? When will students make the distinction of the level of language expected, without them having to be told?
Monday, July 28, 2008
SONA reactions
While I would much rather be watching Cha's anniversary gift, Gotham Knight, I find myself watching and feeling the need to react to the SONA. In fact, I have grown weary of it all. There was a time when this was important to me, when I felt that I had a responsibility to be aware and active in politics. Sadly, as I've grown older, and the need to make a living, and the general feeling that you can't change things has sunk in, I have turned my back on it all, thinking that my purchasing power has defined my politics. Still, here I am, tapping away at the keyboard while watching the pre-SONA coverage and I'll be reacting as I listen to the SONA itself. Oh, just for the purposes of clarity, I will say that I am watching the ABS-CBN coverage. as friends know, I have no antenna, but I can get that channel in grainy quality without the antenna.
1. It's very irritating that there's a feature on SONA fashion. Someone has likened the SONA to the Oscars. Would the Americans liken their State of the Union address to the Oscars? probably not, but I suppose with the fashion sense and the proliferation of showbiz personalities in government then perhaps it's not an unfair comparison.
2. Ang barok ng Senate president mag-call to order.
3. Legistlators' prayer? Why Why? If there were a god, then most of these people would be rightly punished. Sorry boys, you ain't prayin' to no one. And if there were one prayer, it would be, I pray that you fools would stop stealing the money I pay for taxes. I never tire of saying that the government took P70,000 of my money last year. Can I pray that they give it back? Or that I benefit from it somehow? The minimum expectation of a society is safety, that you are freed from the brutish, nasty, and short nature of life without society. How come I'm afraid to walk down the street at night, I'm paying so much to belong to this society?
4. GMA has such a terrible voice.
5. Why is it that when you give a speech, you have to say all these people's names before getting on with it? blah blah blah
6. GMA's code switching a lot. That means that she wouldn't get in if she applied to teach in the english department.
7. GMA says that world markets are erasing progress in local markets. True enough there are problems abroad, but then what tangible progress can she refer to locally before the failures abroad? Her 1 million jobs include MMDA and street sweepers, not gainful employment for the well-educated. Haha. how much am i earning these days?
8. "The global crisis did not catch is unprepared," You could have fooled me. Damn, costs so much to buy a good piece of meat these days. And gas has been killing me. Who is the we she keeps talking about? "For footing the bill I thank the tax payers," goddamn, i didn't want to do that.
9. GMA is now saying that she is willing to be unpopular so that she can get us through the economic crisis. Hmmm. is this a dark knight kind of thing going? I'm not believing it. There's a clear reason why she's unpopular. Things could be done better, there is a lack of transparency...She is going on now about the people she cares about, among them schoolteachers. If we really cared about school teachers they would be making more money, and they would receive ongoing training.
10. She's going to present her suggestions for easing price challenges . Sufficiency, energy independence, self-reliance, long term reforms. These sound like things that are obvious to anyone, but moves should have been made for these years ago. Let's see how this breaks down.
11. She's justifying VAT by giving a list of what it's for. Sadly, our VAT soars at 12% and we know that a lot of this is going into pockets. "Take VAT away...and you and I... pull the rug out from under progress...," sounds like a fallacy to me. Take away VAT and we strip the people of...riding out the energy crisis." "It is about doing what is necessary however hard." "The government has persevered." Then she says something to the effect of VAT will go to helping people now and investing in the future. It all sounds good, but they sound more like motherhood statements more than actual tangible explanations for things. V for Vendetta and Big Brother similarities anyone?
12. "Texting is a way of life." GMA has brought the price of texting down to p0.50. wow. everyone claps. should i be happy?
13. If we could replace all lights with fluorescent lights, then we could save 2 billion pesos. Um, ok. I don't know, but these things are very small scale. Now she mentions the amount of money released for typhoon victims. Do we really need to clap that we gave aid?
14. 32 peso commercial rice now. We shall see if it stays that way. I feel like there's so much disbelief in my tone. Can't help it.
15. Prices will remain high. But we can work to ease the pain while investing in long term solutions. That seems to be the recurring theme of the SONA.
16. People are clapping for irrigation systems. I don't know, might just be me, but when I play civilization, irrigation is a pretty basic thing. Not sure why irrigation should be a clap-worthy thing in the information age. It should have been there ages ago.
17. "Providing seeds at subsidized prices." This seems like something, like irrigation ,that should be expected. I'm looking for something more than this.
18. Promoting natural family planning. she's trying to get the religious congregations behind her on this one. One has to ask the question, because she refers to a drop in the birth rate, the demographics behind it. Is it the middle class and upper class that are having less kids? Which is expected as women focus on their careers, or is it the poor, who are the ones who really need to be educated about birth control?
19. Self-reliant, self-sufficient, independent. It's a doctrine that was adopted by the Japanese and Singaporeans which led to their successes in the past. The question is, in this global economy, can this be done? How effectively?
20 GMA is quoting figures for agricultural production. Again, irrigation and vegetable planting are mentioned. Damn, what year is it again? Oh right, it's 2008. Just checked wikipedia, signs of irrigation have been recorded as early as the 6th millennium BCE. damn
21. Agrarian reform and giving the farmers the ability to sustain their land and production. This is an initiative close to my heart, as I worked on some projects with DAR.
22. At this point my mind is drifting, as GMA talks about the place where justice and progress converge. I am thinking how she lacks charisma. No charisma, no inspiring ability. I'm not inspired in any case.
23. Something about the RORO helping the economy.
24. GMA's talking about vocational graduates and she's having them stand up in the hall to show I suppose that these people do exist, that it's happening. but come on, we're clapping for the welders of the world? well and good for them, but what about everyone else? No mention of the OSYs and initiatives for them, nor career tracks for these other people. I just can't stop thinking about the lack of intellectual progress and the absence of funding for it.
25. Microfinancing. very good. Another project I have worked on which I think is very beneficial.
26. GMA's giving more names, this time of farmers. It's a PR thing, showing the people who are benefitting from it. I think it can be effective, although we've had the Mang Pandoys and the bangkang papel so I'm not buying it anymore. Damn, i didn't realize that she's given so many SONAs. Been president for far too long.
27. Mindanao peace process. I'm actually writing a movie that plays on the whole idea. I've been reading about the peace process since I was a freshman. That's a long time. But it's been going on for far longer than that.
28. She's talking about the Pope. I'm zoned out. I'm standing by the need for a secular morality. Let's help people not because there's a god, there's help people because we're all people.
29. SSS and GSIS are reacting to inflation, etc. Good news. Ditto Pag-Ibig. GMA asks SSS to give bigger house loans. Could be a good thing, more homes bought, better economy with the money going round, government makes money from interest.
30. School-building program. Let's see. again, disbelief. The building may be built, but what about resources, teachers, etc, etc. Sometimes we only build what will be counted, the hard stuff, but the soft infrastructure is often overlooked. and the soft stuff is just as important.
31. Promotion of natural gas and bio-fuel. Let's see if this can help bring down gas and electricity costs. Renewable energy bill passed; again let's see how this changes the game. I'm looking for us making a shift to hybrid vehicles. What will happen with all the jeepneys in the next ten years? How will public transportation respond to the problem of renewable fuels?
32. Investments to strengthen institutions and fight corruptions. "I will continue to fight these battles everyday." Hmm, shall I say no comment when GMA says this? Ombudsman's conviction rate increased 500 percent. Question: How many of these officials were congressmen, senators? High ranking secretaries, Usecs?
33. 3 billion pesos for anti-graft fund. That's a lot of money. 4 billion for UP. hmm that doesn't seem right for UP, now does it if we place such a high premium on education?
34. GMA asks for a consumer bill of rights. Again something we should have had long ago. But better late than never.
35. GMA says she cares too much for our nation to let anyone stand in the way of our progress. Hmm, that sounds like some pretty strong rhetoric. Man oh man, am i thinking big brother and V for vendetta rhetoric here.
1. It's very irritating that there's a feature on SONA fashion. Someone has likened the SONA to the Oscars. Would the Americans liken their State of the Union address to the Oscars? probably not, but I suppose with the fashion sense and the proliferation of showbiz personalities in government then perhaps it's not an unfair comparison.
2. Ang barok ng Senate president mag-call to order.
3. Legistlators' prayer? Why Why? If there were a god, then most of these people would be rightly punished. Sorry boys, you ain't prayin' to no one. And if there were one prayer, it would be, I pray that you fools would stop stealing the money I pay for taxes. I never tire of saying that the government took P70,000 of my money last year. Can I pray that they give it back? Or that I benefit from it somehow? The minimum expectation of a society is safety, that you are freed from the brutish, nasty, and short nature of life without society. How come I'm afraid to walk down the street at night, I'm paying so much to belong to this society?
4. GMA has such a terrible voice.
5. Why is it that when you give a speech, you have to say all these people's names before getting on with it? blah blah blah
6. GMA's code switching a lot. That means that she wouldn't get in if she applied to teach in the english department.
7. GMA says that world markets are erasing progress in local markets. True enough there are problems abroad, but then what tangible progress can she refer to locally before the failures abroad? Her 1 million jobs include MMDA and street sweepers, not gainful employment for the well-educated. Haha. how much am i earning these days?
8. "The global crisis did not catch is unprepared," You could have fooled me. Damn, costs so much to buy a good piece of meat these days. And gas has been killing me. Who is the we she keeps talking about? "For footing the bill I thank the tax payers," goddamn, i didn't want to do that.
9. GMA is now saying that she is willing to be unpopular so that she can get us through the economic crisis. Hmmm. is this a dark knight kind of thing going? I'm not believing it. There's a clear reason why she's unpopular. Things could be done better, there is a lack of transparency...She is going on now about the people she cares about, among them schoolteachers. If we really cared about school teachers they would be making more money, and they would receive ongoing training.
10. She's going to present her suggestions for easing price challenges . Sufficiency, energy independence, self-reliance, long term reforms. These sound like things that are obvious to anyone, but moves should have been made for these years ago. Let's see how this breaks down.
11. She's justifying VAT by giving a list of what it's for. Sadly, our VAT soars at 12% and we know that a lot of this is going into pockets. "Take VAT away...and you and I... pull the rug out from under progress...," sounds like a fallacy to me. Take away VAT and we strip the people of...riding out the energy crisis." "It is about doing what is necessary however hard." "The government has persevered." Then she says something to the effect of VAT will go to helping people now and investing in the future. It all sounds good, but they sound more like motherhood statements more than actual tangible explanations for things. V for Vendetta and Big Brother similarities anyone?
12. "Texting is a way of life." GMA has brought the price of texting down to p0.50. wow. everyone claps. should i be happy?
13. If we could replace all lights with fluorescent lights, then we could save 2 billion pesos. Um, ok. I don't know, but these things are very small scale. Now she mentions the amount of money released for typhoon victims. Do we really need to clap that we gave aid?
14. 32 peso commercial rice now. We shall see if it stays that way. I feel like there's so much disbelief in my tone. Can't help it.
15. Prices will remain high. But we can work to ease the pain while investing in long term solutions. That seems to be the recurring theme of the SONA.
16. People are clapping for irrigation systems. I don't know, might just be me, but when I play civilization, irrigation is a pretty basic thing. Not sure why irrigation should be a clap-worthy thing in the information age. It should have been there ages ago.
17. "Providing seeds at subsidized prices." This seems like something, like irrigation ,that should be expected. I'm looking for something more than this.
18. Promoting natural family planning. she's trying to get the religious congregations behind her on this one. One has to ask the question, because she refers to a drop in the birth rate, the demographics behind it. Is it the middle class and upper class that are having less kids? Which is expected as women focus on their careers, or is it the poor, who are the ones who really need to be educated about birth control?
19. Self-reliant, self-sufficient, independent. It's a doctrine that was adopted by the Japanese and Singaporeans which led to their successes in the past. The question is, in this global economy, can this be done? How effectively?
20 GMA is quoting figures for agricultural production. Again, irrigation and vegetable planting are mentioned. Damn, what year is it again? Oh right, it's 2008. Just checked wikipedia, signs of irrigation have been recorded as early as the 6th millennium BCE. damn
21. Agrarian reform and giving the farmers the ability to sustain their land and production. This is an initiative close to my heart, as I worked on some projects with DAR.
22. At this point my mind is drifting, as GMA talks about the place where justice and progress converge. I am thinking how she lacks charisma. No charisma, no inspiring ability. I'm not inspired in any case.
23. Something about the RORO helping the economy.
24. GMA's talking about vocational graduates and she's having them stand up in the hall to show I suppose that these people do exist, that it's happening. but come on, we're clapping for the welders of the world? well and good for them, but what about everyone else? No mention of the OSYs and initiatives for them, nor career tracks for these other people. I just can't stop thinking about the lack of intellectual progress and the absence of funding for it.
25. Microfinancing. very good. Another project I have worked on which I think is very beneficial.
26. GMA's giving more names, this time of farmers. It's a PR thing, showing the people who are benefitting from it. I think it can be effective, although we've had the Mang Pandoys and the bangkang papel so I'm not buying it anymore. Damn, i didn't realize that she's given so many SONAs. Been president for far too long.
27. Mindanao peace process. I'm actually writing a movie that plays on the whole idea. I've been reading about the peace process since I was a freshman. That's a long time. But it's been going on for far longer than that.
28. She's talking about the Pope. I'm zoned out. I'm standing by the need for a secular morality. Let's help people not because there's a god, there's help people because we're all people.
29. SSS and GSIS are reacting to inflation, etc. Good news. Ditto Pag-Ibig. GMA asks SSS to give bigger house loans. Could be a good thing, more homes bought, better economy with the money going round, government makes money from interest.
30. School-building program. Let's see. again, disbelief. The building may be built, but what about resources, teachers, etc, etc. Sometimes we only build what will be counted, the hard stuff, but the soft infrastructure is often overlooked. and the soft stuff is just as important.
31. Promotion of natural gas and bio-fuel. Let's see if this can help bring down gas and electricity costs. Renewable energy bill passed; again let's see how this changes the game. I'm looking for us making a shift to hybrid vehicles. What will happen with all the jeepneys in the next ten years? How will public transportation respond to the problem of renewable fuels?
32. Investments to strengthen institutions and fight corruptions. "I will continue to fight these battles everyday." Hmm, shall I say no comment when GMA says this? Ombudsman's conviction rate increased 500 percent. Question: How many of these officials were congressmen, senators? High ranking secretaries, Usecs?
33. 3 billion pesos for anti-graft fund. That's a lot of money. 4 billion for UP. hmm that doesn't seem right for UP, now does it if we place such a high premium on education?
34. GMA asks for a consumer bill of rights. Again something we should have had long ago. But better late than never.
35. GMA says she cares too much for our nation to let anyone stand in the way of our progress. Hmm, that sounds like some pretty strong rhetoric. Man oh man, am i thinking big brother and V for vendetta rhetoric here.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Secret Vanity
Some friends asked me to post what I read at the recent Read Lit District, so here it is.
My Secret Vanity
I'm a scruffy-looking guy. I wonder if it comes from wanting to emulate Harrison Ford as Han Solo (“Who are you calling scruffy-looking?”) or Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones (I did try wearing the Fedora, but I was much much too young then to grow stubble) or any of his numerous other scruffy-looking roles. Ford sports a disheveled yet dashing look that I wished I could emulate. My scruffy-lookingness sadly only gets it half right. I lack the dash; I just look really disheveled. And kind of fat. No, let's be honest. Not kind of fat. Fat. Really fat. Well, that's being a bit hard on myself, I'm not that fat. Just fat. So disheveled and fat.
I suppose the failure of a number of my relationships, and a reason for some romances never happening, is my apparent lack of grooming. Some of those girls could not bear my hair that hadn't felt the tug of brush or comb in years. When I get a haircut, I get my head shaved. Then I just kind of let it all hang out until it seems too long, or there's some occasion when I need to get a hair cut. Such occasions, like graduations, formal events, weddings, and the like are very rare in my life, and so the hair just kind of grows out about a year or two. I figure using shampoo and taking a towel to it are more than enough attention than my hair needs. It just kind of falls into place. I think.
My philosophy about shaving is similar to that for fixing my bed. When I wake up in the morning I leave the pillows and blanket in disarray. Why? Because when I get in bed later that night I'm going to mess it all up again anyway, so why fix it now? Similarly, it's going to grow back anyway, so why bother shaving? Again, a formal event may prompt me to put a razor to my face. Otherwise I take to my facial hair with a pair of scissors only when the hair gets so long that it interferes with my eating; I start feeling the mustache hair impeding the flow of food into my mouth.
When we move on to my fashion sense, or lack thereof, well, I've heard people say to me, “Hinahabol ka ng plantsa,” so often that those people get tired of saying it. I'm a T-Shirt and jeans guy, except when I teach which is when I'll maybe throw a collared button-down over that T-Shirt. I have a thing for flannel or plaid because my fashion sense is stuck emulating the Seattle-grunge look of the early 90s, but modified for the tropical clime (which means that the look looks terribly off). Sometimes I'll turn to the other fashion rage of my pre-teen youth and put on some big baggy clothes and look like a suburban hip-hopper mixed with punk from So-Cal. I really don't get how to dress up, and in the metro and post-metrosexual world my fashion sense is terribly dated, and grungy is the exact word for it.
So it's a wonder that I would be writing something about vanity. When I told my girlfriend that I was writing an essay about how vain I am she just replied with a grunt of disbelief. Then she fixed my hair a little bit.
My vanity though, is something that I share with many. It may not be as rampant as the droves of “vain pics” that you'll see on social networking sites, so proliferative that vain photography may become a classification title, but I think that a lot of us do it.
I like to Google my name.
Just an aside, isn't it interesting that Google has become a verb? Technically it's a noun, right? It's a website. But it can be used as a verb, and it's very cool that it's easy to make it past tense, “I Googled it.” Also, it doesn't sound so bad in Tagalog, “I-Google mo,” or “Na-Google ko na.”
I like to Google my name just to see if anyone's talking about me, to see if I'm getting any hits. I don't care what they say. I've seen the worst things written about my writing, but woohoo at least somebody wrote about me. Okay, so admittedly I wasn't happy that someone wrote something bad about me, but in the long run I'm happy that I am still worth writing about.
I have to run it through permutations of my name. First is Carl Javier. This just gets too many hits. Then I'll go with the publishing name Carljoe Javier. This shows up a good number of personal posts, along with reviews of things I wrote and the aforementioned negative writing. Sometimes I get surprised because people actually quote me. This is because I wouldn't quote myself. I'm often drunk or misled in thoughts. But I found out that there are some things that I do say that hold some value once they wind up on the internet. Just now I Googled my name and found that I have been listed in a number of blogs and personals as among these people's favorite writers.
It's also fun to be cross-posted. I once wrote an essay about the crazy things I'm tempted to do as a statement of my frustration with our government. It wound up on a gun enthusiast's site. I've also wound up on fan sites for various geekdoms which I belong to. They found my reviews and posted them on the sites.
Then there's the searching for what students say about me. High school teachers are especially susceptible to funny things. I've seen the worst pictures, like one where a teacher is in front of the class and everyone's sleeping. The “candid” pictures taken when a teacher flares up also make for good material on student pages. I've been lucky enough not to be caught, I think. Or at least I've been lucky enough not to see the bad shots of me that students have taken. There have been unusual blog entries expressing undying love, which I assume the writer thought I would never read.
It's all not worth much when you look at it. Mentions of my name in various articles, some references from friend's blogs, quotes from my class now and then, and the occasional picture that I was too drunk to remember I was in, the rare review of something I wrote, and some of the band's performances posted in youtube. And yet it all adds up to a lot of pages. From the first time I Googled my name and found three entries now I have to take about half an hour sifting through the pages seeing if there's anything new from me or about me online.
Is it something to do with my importance in this world? It's an attempt to leave behind some kind of mark, to matter in some way. I have to sit back and wonder why someone who is bored will hastily snap fifteen or twenty shots of herself, post them online, and then send out these announcements that she's got a new post and you should check it out when it's really inconsequential drivel.
Are she and I operating under the same motivations? Do we feel the need to be seen, to be heard in an exceedingly detached digital world? Face to face contact is mitigated these days by the online social network, and it seems that to be noticed online is just as important as it is to be nodded or smiled to when you run into someone you know in the hallway. We all want to be known, and to know and feel that we are known. I may not care about how I look, but I care that I am heard.
My Secret Vanity
I'm a scruffy-looking guy. I wonder if it comes from wanting to emulate Harrison Ford as Han Solo (“Who are you calling scruffy-looking?”) or Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones (I did try wearing the Fedora, but I was much much too young then to grow stubble) or any of his numerous other scruffy-looking roles. Ford sports a disheveled yet dashing look that I wished I could emulate. My scruffy-lookingness sadly only gets it half right. I lack the dash; I just look really disheveled. And kind of fat. No, let's be honest. Not kind of fat. Fat. Really fat. Well, that's being a bit hard on myself, I'm not that fat. Just fat. So disheveled and fat.
I suppose the failure of a number of my relationships, and a reason for some romances never happening, is my apparent lack of grooming. Some of those girls could not bear my hair that hadn't felt the tug of brush or comb in years. When I get a haircut, I get my head shaved. Then I just kind of let it all hang out until it seems too long, or there's some occasion when I need to get a hair cut. Such occasions, like graduations, formal events, weddings, and the like are very rare in my life, and so the hair just kind of grows out about a year or two. I figure using shampoo and taking a towel to it are more than enough attention than my hair needs. It just kind of falls into place. I think.
My philosophy about shaving is similar to that for fixing my bed. When I wake up in the morning I leave the pillows and blanket in disarray. Why? Because when I get in bed later that night I'm going to mess it all up again anyway, so why fix it now? Similarly, it's going to grow back anyway, so why bother shaving? Again, a formal event may prompt me to put a razor to my face. Otherwise I take to my facial hair with a pair of scissors only when the hair gets so long that it interferes with my eating; I start feeling the mustache hair impeding the flow of food into my mouth.
When we move on to my fashion sense, or lack thereof, well, I've heard people say to me, “Hinahabol ka ng plantsa,” so often that those people get tired of saying it. I'm a T-Shirt and jeans guy, except when I teach which is when I'll maybe throw a collared button-down over that T-Shirt. I have a thing for flannel or plaid because my fashion sense is stuck emulating the Seattle-grunge look of the early 90s, but modified for the tropical clime (which means that the look looks terribly off). Sometimes I'll turn to the other fashion rage of my pre-teen youth and put on some big baggy clothes and look like a suburban hip-hopper mixed with punk from So-Cal. I really don't get how to dress up, and in the metro and post-metrosexual world my fashion sense is terribly dated, and grungy is the exact word for it.
So it's a wonder that I would be writing something about vanity. When I told my girlfriend that I was writing an essay about how vain I am she just replied with a grunt of disbelief. Then she fixed my hair a little bit.
My vanity though, is something that I share with many. It may not be as rampant as the droves of “vain pics” that you'll see on social networking sites, so proliferative that vain photography may become a classification title, but I think that a lot of us do it.
I like to Google my name.
Just an aside, isn't it interesting that Google has become a verb? Technically it's a noun, right? It's a website. But it can be used as a verb, and it's very cool that it's easy to make it past tense, “I Googled it.” Also, it doesn't sound so bad in Tagalog, “I-Google mo,” or “Na-Google ko na.”
I like to Google my name just to see if anyone's talking about me, to see if I'm getting any hits. I don't care what they say. I've seen the worst things written about my writing, but woohoo at least somebody wrote about me. Okay, so admittedly I wasn't happy that someone wrote something bad about me, but in the long run I'm happy that I am still worth writing about.
I have to run it through permutations of my name. First is Carl Javier. This just gets too many hits. Then I'll go with the publishing name Carljoe Javier. This shows up a good number of personal posts, along with reviews of things I wrote and the aforementioned negative writing. Sometimes I get surprised because people actually quote me. This is because I wouldn't quote myself. I'm often drunk or misled in thoughts. But I found out that there are some things that I do say that hold some value once they wind up on the internet. Just now I Googled my name and found that I have been listed in a number of blogs and personals as among these people's favorite writers.
It's also fun to be cross-posted. I once wrote an essay about the crazy things I'm tempted to do as a statement of my frustration with our government. It wound up on a gun enthusiast's site. I've also wound up on fan sites for various geekdoms which I belong to. They found my reviews and posted them on the sites.
Then there's the searching for what students say about me. High school teachers are especially susceptible to funny things. I've seen the worst pictures, like one where a teacher is in front of the class and everyone's sleeping. The “candid” pictures taken when a teacher flares up also make for good material on student pages. I've been lucky enough not to be caught, I think. Or at least I've been lucky enough not to see the bad shots of me that students have taken. There have been unusual blog entries expressing undying love, which I assume the writer thought I would never read.
It's all not worth much when you look at it. Mentions of my name in various articles, some references from friend's blogs, quotes from my class now and then, and the occasional picture that I was too drunk to remember I was in, the rare review of something I wrote, and some of the band's performances posted in youtube. And yet it all adds up to a lot of pages. From the first time I Googled my name and found three entries now I have to take about half an hour sifting through the pages seeing if there's anything new from me or about me online.
Is it something to do with my importance in this world? It's an attempt to leave behind some kind of mark, to matter in some way. I have to sit back and wonder why someone who is bored will hastily snap fifteen or twenty shots of herself, post them online, and then send out these announcements that she's got a new post and you should check it out when it's really inconsequential drivel.
Are she and I operating under the same motivations? Do we feel the need to be seen, to be heard in an exceedingly detached digital world? Face to face contact is mitigated these days by the online social network, and it seems that to be noticed online is just as important as it is to be nodded or smiled to when you run into someone you know in the hallway. We all want to be known, and to know and feel that we are known. I may not care about how I look, but I care that I am heard.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Mother---king Internet connection
I have ranted about this in a previous post, and yet it still deserves more complaints. Also, I enjoin the people who have the same problem to write about it in their blogs, in the hopes that the complaints will register. Any company that has any sense these days will pay attention to a deluge of blogs complaining about its performance. But then we're here in the Philippine Islands and god knows lots of company-people fail to comprehend the immensity of the internet's power, or people's ability to access forward thinking and employ it thanks to the interweb's capabilities.
Well, this morning I tried to get online and couldn't. Would it seem wrong to blame the rain? Is it mere coincidence that rain hampers internet performance? Is there really a connection?
And when trying to at least inquire about the status of the net, well, gee-whiz I couldn't get through to tech support. I hear all my friends going through all this shit in call centers, but then the local providers can't get enough people on the line for us. What's up with that? I spent damn near half an hour trying to get through to tech support and never getting anything more than rings and then a dead tone. I got through to Bayantel Customer Service, but they said they couldn't help me at all because my concern had to do with the internet. I tried the internet customer support some more before finally giving up.
Again, Bayan Tel, what's going on? What's with no one answering the tech support? How am I supposed to log a complaint when I can't even get through?
Just as I was trying to send this entry I was disconnected again. Ah the wonders.
Well, this morning I tried to get online and couldn't. Would it seem wrong to blame the rain? Is it mere coincidence that rain hampers internet performance? Is there really a connection?
And when trying to at least inquire about the status of the net, well, gee-whiz I couldn't get through to tech support. I hear all my friends going through all this shit in call centers, but then the local providers can't get enough people on the line for us. What's up with that? I spent damn near half an hour trying to get through to tech support and never getting anything more than rings and then a dead tone. I got through to Bayantel Customer Service, but they said they couldn't help me at all because my concern had to do with the internet. I tried the internet customer support some more before finally giving up.
Again, Bayan Tel, what's going on? What's with no one answering the tech support? How am I supposed to log a complaint when I can't even get through?
Just as I was trying to send this entry I was disconnected again. Ah the wonders.
Dark Knight
I spend a lot of time in movie theaters, and kind of working on film and having been writing reviews for a while now, I've found different ways to watch films. Sometimes I come into them expecting moving narrative, sweeping emotional journeys, quiet family dramas, and sometimes just plain visual virtuosity. And then there are times when I just want some easy dumb fun, like say Harold and Kumar or the Apatow-backed flicks like Knocked Up or Superbad.
I have talked with some friends, though, that I thoroughly enjoy films that allow me to experience the magic of filmmaking. Granted there are times when we expect total realism, or when we just cannot accept the way that films create or operate within the bounds of their film worlds. But I feel that the great films of my youth, the movies that made me love movies, were those that were able to convey in me a sense of magic, a kind of feeling that movies and only movies can create.
If I were to be asked for a concrete example I would refer to the first few minutes of Raiders of the Lost Ark as a clear powerful example of movie-making magic. The rest of the film is likewise as magical.
I am waxing poetic about movie magic because of The Dark Knight, which I watched last night in IMAX. From the opening scenes, on through to the last sequence, one gets a sense of magic, and of the power of film to tell stories, to excite, to make us feel alive.
The visuals were amazing with the stunts and action sequences taking on a visceral quality that makes one scream out. At certain points in the film I wanted to stand up and start screaming, "That was fucking awesome!" Indeed that is the sentiment I felt when I walked out of the sensory-overload-inducing IMAX experience. I have no doubts that even in the usual theater this film will throw people out of their seats.
It's a rare thing to be overwhelmed with movie-magic, despite the saturation of the market. Dark Knight overwhelms on all levels, creating a piece of depth, beauty, and power. It's smart, it's challenging, but it's also great fun.
I have talked with some friends, though, that I thoroughly enjoy films that allow me to experience the magic of filmmaking. Granted there are times when we expect total realism, or when we just cannot accept the way that films create or operate within the bounds of their film worlds. But I feel that the great films of my youth, the movies that made me love movies, were those that were able to convey in me a sense of magic, a kind of feeling that movies and only movies can create.
If I were to be asked for a concrete example I would refer to the first few minutes of Raiders of the Lost Ark as a clear powerful example of movie-making magic. The rest of the film is likewise as magical.
I am waxing poetic about movie magic because of The Dark Knight, which I watched last night in IMAX. From the opening scenes, on through to the last sequence, one gets a sense of magic, and of the power of film to tell stories, to excite, to make us feel alive.
The visuals were amazing with the stunts and action sequences taking on a visceral quality that makes one scream out. At certain points in the film I wanted to stand up and start screaming, "That was fucking awesome!" Indeed that is the sentiment I felt when I walked out of the sensory-overload-inducing IMAX experience. I have no doubts that even in the usual theater this film will throw people out of their seats.
It's a rare thing to be overwhelmed with movie-magic, despite the saturation of the market. Dark Knight overwhelms on all levels, creating a piece of depth, beauty, and power. It's smart, it's challenging, but it's also great fun.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Kaya Nga Ako Nag-DSL
I haven't posted anything in quite a while. And it's not because I haven't been trying to write in this blog. perhaps one of the most demoralizing things when it comes to blogging is typing up an entry, and then it not being sent. You try and jump back to the text and the page has expired. Poof. It's gone.
I had tried what most people said, write it in the word processor then copy and paste. Truth be told i'm just too lazy. But that's what I get. I mean, I went with DSL so I wouldn't have to put up with getting disconnected all the time.
So I"m looking at you right now, BayanTel, what's up? It rains and things are over. That just ain't right. And the inconsistent connections, the having to authenticate. Bah.
I had tried what most people said, write it in the word processor then copy and paste. Truth be told i'm just too lazy. But that's what I get. I mean, I went with DSL so I wouldn't have to put up with getting disconnected all the time.
So I"m looking at you right now, BayanTel, what's up? It rains and things are over. That just ain't right. And the inconsistent connections, the having to authenticate. Bah.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Self-Promotion Time
Please tune in or come:
This Thursday, June 26, I'm tagging along with Karl De Mesa for an interview on RX 93.1 It'll be at 9pm.
June 27, friday, I'll be part of the Read Lit District, the monthly reading organized by the CW Committee of the DECL. The reading will start at 4 at the Vargas Museum. Emil Flores will also be reading his fiction.
This Thursday, June 26, I'm tagging along with Karl De Mesa for an interview on RX 93.1 It'll be at 9pm.
June 27, friday, I'll be part of the Read Lit District, the monthly reading organized by the CW Committee of the DECL. The reading will start at 4 at the Vargas Museum. Emil Flores will also be reading his fiction.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
inches away from murder
I stood at the MRT station this morning waiting for the train to arrive so I could get to a meeting. I, like everyone else at the station, had somewhere to get to. I feel that it is one of the primary failures and causes for bad behavior that people forget that everyone else there wants to get where they are going in the shortest amount of time as possible.
And so this lack of concern for other passengers and a focus on the self allows for treating all of the other passengers like crap. What's worse is that there is a total disregard for propriety, manners, or even being decent. The title of this entry is taken from the idea that earlier today, as the train slid into the station, I was pushed forward, almost straight into the train's path as it whizzed by. While death may not have been a sure thing if i had made contact with the MRT, something very bad would have happened to me. For what? because some asshole couldn't wait and had to push me in the way of the train so he could get closer?
There has to be some way to make a train ride, specifically the MRT ride, civil. Evidently all those signs aren't working at all. I saw a guy almost tackle a woman because she was trying to get out of the MRT and he wanted to get in. He just bowled over her. In no way can that be right. And we can assume that this person knows that it's wrong. So why did he still do it?
We know it's wrong to cut in line. And it saves us what, 20, 30 seconds when it comes to slipping your card in and getting out of the station. And still people do it.
I refuse to believe in some stupid idea that the Filipino lacks discipline. That's just us being racist against ourselves. It's a matter of us recognizing not the special qualities in ourselves, or as the school where I used to work loved to say ordinary giftedness. If we want this kind of behavior to end there has to be an acknowledgement of our belonging to this huge thing called the human race, and the small things we do as the things that define us, not to some god who will pass judgement, but rather for posterity, for when some civilization in the future finds us and says, man, is this what humans were all about?
And so this lack of concern for other passengers and a focus on the self allows for treating all of the other passengers like crap. What's worse is that there is a total disregard for propriety, manners, or even being decent. The title of this entry is taken from the idea that earlier today, as the train slid into the station, I was pushed forward, almost straight into the train's path as it whizzed by. While death may not have been a sure thing if i had made contact with the MRT, something very bad would have happened to me. For what? because some asshole couldn't wait and had to push me in the way of the train so he could get closer?
There has to be some way to make a train ride, specifically the MRT ride, civil. Evidently all those signs aren't working at all. I saw a guy almost tackle a woman because she was trying to get out of the MRT and he wanted to get in. He just bowled over her. In no way can that be right. And we can assume that this person knows that it's wrong. So why did he still do it?
We know it's wrong to cut in line. And it saves us what, 20, 30 seconds when it comes to slipping your card in and getting out of the station. And still people do it.
I refuse to believe in some stupid idea that the Filipino lacks discipline. That's just us being racist against ourselves. It's a matter of us recognizing not the special qualities in ourselves, or as the school where I used to work loved to say ordinary giftedness. If we want this kind of behavior to end there has to be an acknowledgement of our belonging to this huge thing called the human race, and the small things we do as the things that define us, not to some god who will pass judgement, but rather for posterity, for when some civilization in the future finds us and says, man, is this what humans were all about?
attempts to establish a new moral compass
I have found myself in recent days bombarded my impositions of faith, beliefs in some destiny guided by an invisible hand that has a grand plan. From people around to my own students who seem bent on getting me to believe in that absurd fiction known as Rick Warren's "Purpose Driven Life."
In reaction to these things I am coming slowly to the resolution to attempt to write about values in this blog. It may come as a surprise, but I do believe in values, and I do believe in morals. However, I see the need to redefine our sets of values.
Most of us base our moral compasses on religious beliefs. I have been feeling that the religious fervor can often lead to a loss of perspective. If you want a full chronicling of the negative effects of religion then look no further than Dawkins' The God Delusion.
I feel that this is a good time to try and reorient our moral compasses. But instead of religious belief being our north, I want us to focus on humanist belief. It's difficult to define this, I know. I would like the idea of the humanist belief approach to essentially mean that we make our decisions not based on the belief that there is something bigger out there we don't understand who dictates whether we get life eternal in paradise but rather that we make our decisions for the better of this world and for the advancement of the human race. I know it seems vague, but as I make entries reacting to various situations that attempt to make us reconsider our moral orientations then I hope that I too will be able to establish guidelines through situations and applications.
In reaction to these things I am coming slowly to the resolution to attempt to write about values in this blog. It may come as a surprise, but I do believe in values, and I do believe in morals. However, I see the need to redefine our sets of values.
Most of us base our moral compasses on religious beliefs. I have been feeling that the religious fervor can often lead to a loss of perspective. If you want a full chronicling of the negative effects of religion then look no further than Dawkins' The God Delusion.
I feel that this is a good time to try and reorient our moral compasses. But instead of religious belief being our north, I want us to focus on humanist belief. It's difficult to define this, I know. I would like the idea of the humanist belief approach to essentially mean that we make our decisions not based on the belief that there is something bigger out there we don't understand who dictates whether we get life eternal in paradise but rather that we make our decisions for the better of this world and for the advancement of the human race. I know it seems vague, but as I make entries reacting to various situations that attempt to make us reconsider our moral orientations then I hope that I too will be able to establish guidelines through situations and applications.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Running Apart from the Herd
Interestingly, the book I mentioned before, Zimbardo's The Lucifer Effect, has been offering me many insights about the things that I went through with my previous teaching employment. Lord knows some bad things happened to me there. I had asked a colleague to try and make a study seeing how learned helplessness and how that might factor into how the system changes people, makes them do things they know they shouldn't.
Knowing the way that the authority imposed its will oftentimes without the clear thought of logic to justify, I found myself opposing the authority many times. Sadly, as I opposed most others complied or stayed quiet, one reason why I was regularly in trouble or seen as a troublemaker. Here's some stuff from the book that causes one to think about things.
I also taught some lessons on the hive mind, on the ability of the herd mentality to impose itself on people, and for our tendency to get sucked into thinking the same as others without our noticing. According to Zimbardo: "Resistance creates and emotional burden for those who maintain their independence- autonomy comes at a psychic cost." Means that while compliance is easy, opposing is hard because you know you're going against the others. In real, measurable terms, it's hard to be the lone person, one against the world, etc etc.
And Zimbardo continues: "...other people's views, when crystallized into a group consensus, can actually affect how we perceive important aspects of the external world, thus calling into question the nature of truth itself. It is only by becoming aware of our vulnerability to social pressure that we can begin to build resistance to conformity when it is not in our best interest to yield to the mentality of the herd."
It's difficult to draw lines. Conformity, following the herd, in the workplace, could mean the difference between permanency/tenure and having to update your resume at the end of the school year. We have to make compromises, granted. But those few who are willing to bear the emotional burden of opposition sadly must suffer further from the intolerance of people who just want to keep things quiet and simple.
Where does this lead us? In our upbringings, in our development as rational adults, how often are we faced with questions such as these? And how many people will find in themselves resistance to the dominant paradigm? How many will subscribe to what is imposed?
It's a big 1984 question. If the whole world tells you 2 + 2 =5 how inclined are you to believe. The psychological studies reveal that in the majority of cases the individual will agree with what the majority of people believe, whether it is true or not.
Can you imagine the kind of emotional trauma Copernicus or Galileo may have had to go through as they knew that the world was wrong? Copernicus sat on his discoveries til his death and Galileo was persecuted by the church.
We have to ask ourselves now, how much are we willing to sacrifice to prove something right, or to oppose a system in the wrong?
Knowing the way that the authority imposed its will oftentimes without the clear thought of logic to justify, I found myself opposing the authority many times. Sadly, as I opposed most others complied or stayed quiet, one reason why I was regularly in trouble or seen as a troublemaker. Here's some stuff from the book that causes one to think about things.
I also taught some lessons on the hive mind, on the ability of the herd mentality to impose itself on people, and for our tendency to get sucked into thinking the same as others without our noticing. According to Zimbardo: "Resistance creates and emotional burden for those who maintain their independence- autonomy comes at a psychic cost." Means that while compliance is easy, opposing is hard because you know you're going against the others. In real, measurable terms, it's hard to be the lone person, one against the world, etc etc.
And Zimbardo continues: "...other people's views, when crystallized into a group consensus, can actually affect how we perceive important aspects of the external world, thus calling into question the nature of truth itself. It is only by becoming aware of our vulnerability to social pressure that we can begin to build resistance to conformity when it is not in our best interest to yield to the mentality of the herd."
It's difficult to draw lines. Conformity, following the herd, in the workplace, could mean the difference between permanency/tenure and having to update your resume at the end of the school year. We have to make compromises, granted. But those few who are willing to bear the emotional burden of opposition sadly must suffer further from the intolerance of people who just want to keep things quiet and simple.
Where does this lead us? In our upbringings, in our development as rational adults, how often are we faced with questions such as these? And how many people will find in themselves resistance to the dominant paradigm? How many will subscribe to what is imposed?
It's a big 1984 question. If the whole world tells you 2 + 2 =5 how inclined are you to believe. The psychological studies reveal that in the majority of cases the individual will agree with what the majority of people believe, whether it is true or not.
Can you imagine the kind of emotional trauma Copernicus or Galileo may have had to go through as they knew that the world was wrong? Copernicus sat on his discoveries til his death and Galileo was persecuted by the church.
We have to ask ourselves now, how much are we willing to sacrifice to prove something right, or to oppose a system in the wrong?
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Pondering Violence
I've just started reading Philip Zimbardo's The Lucifer Effect and it asks us not only to take a view of "evil" acts as being based on disposition but also situational and systemic factors. It argues about how environmental factors can influence behavior, based on his research such as the infamous Stanford Prison Experiment.
I got to thinking about myself and how I enjoy violence, or at least watching violence. I'm a huge action movie fan. And it got me to thinking about how much of a kick I get out of watching jack Bauer torture terrorists to get the necessary information from them. I even partook in that torture, kind of, when I played through the 24 game. The violence of games is admittedly excessive and again that prompts the question of how I can enjoy such things. Not only enjoy but actively seek such opportunities.
There are lots of questions that are prompted by our searching of these things. For example I would like to believe that I am a peace loving person, but I know, and sadly I do advocate sometimes, that violence is the best form of conflict resolution in certain situations. What does this say about us? Zimbardo says it's not the moral choices you make in situations you are comfortable with, but situations that are alien or that put unusual strains on us on which we are unsure of how to act that makes openings for "evil" behavior. But at the same time it allows us the opportunity of rising to the level of the heroic.
I got to thinking about myself and how I enjoy violence, or at least watching violence. I'm a huge action movie fan. And it got me to thinking about how much of a kick I get out of watching jack Bauer torture terrorists to get the necessary information from them. I even partook in that torture, kind of, when I played through the 24 game. The violence of games is admittedly excessive and again that prompts the question of how I can enjoy such things. Not only enjoy but actively seek such opportunities.
There are lots of questions that are prompted by our searching of these things. For example I would like to believe that I am a peace loving person, but I know, and sadly I do advocate sometimes, that violence is the best form of conflict resolution in certain situations. What does this say about us? Zimbardo says it's not the moral choices you make in situations you are comfortable with, but situations that are alien or that put unusual strains on us on which we are unsure of how to act that makes openings for "evil" behavior. But at the same time it allows us the opportunity of rising to the level of the heroic.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Blame the Big Boys
I just read about two Pinoys getting screwed at Cannes. Congrats to them, that's great news. However I did read something that's disconcerting and that kind of irritated me. Somewhere in the article someone blamed Hollywood movies like Iron Man for the lull in the Pinoy film industry. I don't really think that's fair. To acknowledge that people are willing to shell out more for big budget flicks and to say that the media marketing machines behind these movies accounts for filling up the seats is acceptable. But to blame the bland Pinoy mainstream film scene on them is another thing altogether. It would be like blaming Dan Brown and J.K. Rowling for why Filipino writers don't get read as much.
I think that there are quite a few levels to it. First is our belief that the foreign product is superior. Take again the book example. We won't have trouble forking over say 700 bucks for a foreign book with nice publishing value, but then when a Filipino writer comes out with a book that's P250 people will say, Mahal naman. Now the great gap between our local stuff and a lot of Hollywood, even the Hollywood crap, is the production value. Undoubtedly a lot of theater-goers go for that. Effects even. Think, some of the local viewers are impressed with Enteng Kabisote.
Now I watched four films from the MMFF, and they were all pretty much garbage. Throw in artistas (we must draw a line between them and people who can actually act) some marketing gimik, a nice grant, and you've got a crappy MMFF film. A lot of the major studio productions offer similar things. Bland stories or things we've seen before and what advertisers like to refer to as star power.
As for the indie films, well they've got major problems in terms of distribution. There are a lot of talented indie filmmakers out there but they can't tap the market. One of the problems I see is that there is a divide between the indie filmmaker and the local viewer and this is probably one of taste or sensibility.
Think of our local poetry scene and how we have innumerable great poets, but how this seems to fall short in terms of being commercially viable. However people will go out and buy Bob Ong's books because they are entertaining. I'm not saying the poets should stop, in fact they should keep on because what they do is beautiful. And I'm not saying that people should not read Bob Ong. What I'm saying is that it might be possible to find some middle-ground.
I'm thinking this way because the big summer movie season's coming up and there's a lot of great films. I think that a lot of viewers pay to have an experience, to be transported, to feel that magic of movies. Our indie films are wonderful, very artistically made, but they don't really have the appeal of say, an Indian Jones movie. Anyone who's seen the opening sequence of Raiders of the Lost Ark knows that scene with the boulder. That's movie magic getting you to jump out of your seat. Or for me, how about the great Star Wars moments with the rousing John Williams score. Or when at the crack of dawn Gandalf arrives with the reinforcements just as Aragorn and his mates look like they'll be overwhelmed. Again there's some big production value involved there. But having watched something like On the Lot, you can see that in little doses there can be some big magic.
Let's see if there are some local filmmakers who can tow the line between indie and big production, if there are any that can deliver big fantastic moments. There is a market for big action adventure, which some feel they should blame for the bland local film production. but we're a country of fantasy, of adventure, of action, of magical stories. We see literature turning to these genres, how about our films going this way?
I think that there are quite a few levels to it. First is our belief that the foreign product is superior. Take again the book example. We won't have trouble forking over say 700 bucks for a foreign book with nice publishing value, but then when a Filipino writer comes out with a book that's P250 people will say, Mahal naman. Now the great gap between our local stuff and a lot of Hollywood, even the Hollywood crap, is the production value. Undoubtedly a lot of theater-goers go for that. Effects even. Think, some of the local viewers are impressed with Enteng Kabisote.
Now I watched four films from the MMFF, and they were all pretty much garbage. Throw in artistas (we must draw a line between them and people who can actually act) some marketing gimik, a nice grant, and you've got a crappy MMFF film. A lot of the major studio productions offer similar things. Bland stories or things we've seen before and what advertisers like to refer to as star power.
As for the indie films, well they've got major problems in terms of distribution. There are a lot of talented indie filmmakers out there but they can't tap the market. One of the problems I see is that there is a divide between the indie filmmaker and the local viewer and this is probably one of taste or sensibility.
Think of our local poetry scene and how we have innumerable great poets, but how this seems to fall short in terms of being commercially viable. However people will go out and buy Bob Ong's books because they are entertaining. I'm not saying the poets should stop, in fact they should keep on because what they do is beautiful. And I'm not saying that people should not read Bob Ong. What I'm saying is that it might be possible to find some middle-ground.
I'm thinking this way because the big summer movie season's coming up and there's a lot of great films. I think that a lot of viewers pay to have an experience, to be transported, to feel that magic of movies. Our indie films are wonderful, very artistically made, but they don't really have the appeal of say, an Indian Jones movie. Anyone who's seen the opening sequence of Raiders of the Lost Ark knows that scene with the boulder. That's movie magic getting you to jump out of your seat. Or for me, how about the great Star Wars moments with the rousing John Williams score. Or when at the crack of dawn Gandalf arrives with the reinforcements just as Aragorn and his mates look like they'll be overwhelmed. Again there's some big production value involved there. But having watched something like On the Lot, you can see that in little doses there can be some big magic.
Let's see if there are some local filmmakers who can tow the line between indie and big production, if there are any that can deliver big fantastic moments. There is a market for big action adventure, which some feel they should blame for the bland local film production. but we're a country of fantasy, of adventure, of action, of magical stories. We see literature turning to these genres, how about our films going this way?
Finishing Recording
Today Chupacabraz will be heading into the studio to hopefully finish our first album, Release the Evil. It's been a protracted affair, suffering starts and very long stops due to economics, busy schedules, and any other thing that you can throw at a band that doesn't really have time to make the band a priority. With the icing being put on the cake today we should be able to reproduce this within the next few months, again subject to budget constraints (how much does it cost to get an album reproduced?) and hopefully be selling this thing soon so that we can get a return on investment which should lead to maybe more recordings. This means that we'll probably be looking for gigs again to promote the album. After not gigging for somewhere near seven months, after Angel Radio last Tuesday the band got onstage on a whim and started rocking out. There's a very special chemistry and energy with this band when it's clicking. Stripped down and without playing together for months we delivered a strong, if short, set. I get a real kick out of Angel Radio, but there's something else that happens when you've got a full band charging ahead and plowing things over with this big sound. Angel Radio would be a smooth cool Smart Car buzzing through the lanes, Chupacabras would be a '57 Chevy, big and taking up the road. To be honest, interest has waned with the lack of gigging and the long time this recording has taken (by my accounts it's going on three years) but that mini-gig electrocuted me and brought some real enthusiasm back for me and finishing the album signals a step forward. It's been a long time coming, this step forward, but now it's here and it's one giant leap for the band. I hope that old fans will find something to come back to, and we can get some new fans in the process. Here are some links if you wanna get an idea of how we sound, if you haven't been to a gig.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c0tyo0-CB4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEQziA21ywQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-Vagl9otG8
And here's our multiply. Please visit
http://loschupacabras.multiply.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c0tyo0-CB4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEQziA21ywQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-Vagl9otG8
And here's our multiply. Please visit
http://loschupacabras.multiply.com/
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Dog Days (Flash Fic?)
When I was young my cousin, Ate Margaret, taught me something. We were walking down the street when a dog started barking at us. It slobbered and each time it barked it revealed its vicious fangs. At first it moved towards her. It barked, as if daring her to move. When she held her ground the dog started coming to me. “Mite nyur nung!” she screamed to me. I couldn't understand her. She screamed again, “Mite nyur nung!” I couldn't move. I wanted to run. As the dog came closer I could swear I could hear it smacking its lips in anticipation of a jaw-full of my flesh. “Bite your tongue!” Ate Margaret shouted just in time. I bit my tongue and for some reason the dog backed off.
When the dog had gone I asked her why the dog left. I asked why it was that it didn't bite me when I bit my tongue. She said that she didn't know. Someone older had taught her that. There wasn't any way to explain it. But it kept the dogs at bay.
Now Ate Margaret is dead.
Biting your tongue doesn't work anymore.
Dear Reader,
I'm not exactly sure if this is a piece of flash fiction, or if it should be a full-length short story.
When the dog had gone I asked her why the dog left. I asked why it was that it didn't bite me when I bit my tongue. She said that she didn't know. Someone older had taught her that. There wasn't any way to explain it. But it kept the dogs at bay.
Now Ate Margaret is dead.
Biting your tongue doesn't work anymore.
Dear Reader,
I'm not exactly sure if this is a piece of flash fiction, or if it should be a full-length short story.
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